How To Survive Christmas: According To A Therapist
How To Survive Christmas According To A Therapist
Managing emotions during the holiday season.
There is Egg Nog, Christmas pudding, presents and Christmas decorations, carols and Christmas movies on TV. All of these things bring back some of the happy memories of Christmas I experienced as a child.
Yet on one hand Christmas can be a magical time of year, it often means family time, celebrations and relaxation. On the other hand its can also mean isolation, loneliness or the pain of being without a loved one. For many people Christmas is often that busy time of year where we experience, stress, anxiety, overwhelm, sadness, loneliness and a whole range of other emotions! It can be a time where additional strain is also placed on families due to complex situations and spending more time with family members than we usually might otherwise.
In fact, if you’re feeling more like the Grinch than the Jolly Mr or Mr.s Claus you’re not alone, and you might relate to feeling any one of the below:
A sense of obligation rather than gleeful giving
Grief at having lost a loved one and the holiday season evoking a painful reminder that they’re not here with you.
Stressed out by the holiday crowds and shoppers, wanting to avoid people altogether.
More Bridget Jones recently because you have been through a divorce or breakup and have that feeling that you might end up going alone to those Christmas and new year’s parties.
Worried by the financial struggle, knowing you don’t have the funds to spend going out.
Tempted to just go out and spoil yourself rather than waste time looking for presents for other people.
Worried about the additional kilos that could result from eating and being over-merry.
When it comes to Christmas many people experience the holiday season as less joyful and more stressful. If you resonate with any of the above you might find these 5 survival tips helpful!
Be ready to set your boundaries
If you're someone who like to please others and finds it difficult to say no, you're likely to feel the pressure at Christmas time from those around you who are relying on you to be the organised, steadfast and reliable one. Not only can this cause feelings of anger, stress, anxiety, but it can leave you feeling exhausted. Talk to your therapist (and if you don’t have one, you might want to consider getting one because challenges with setting boundaries probably aren’t limited to the holiday season). In the short term you might want to consider saying Yes and no – The yes, no method states that you may only say yes to requests from others if you do so without resentment, and you may only say no to others without guilt.
Have a break, have a kit-kat
So whilst you don’t need to have a literal kit-kat you do need to take a break. Its even easier at this time of year to glorify busy and get caught up in the rush at Christmas time. Whats important to remember is that one of the major influencing factors in our mood and mental well-being is the time we take to focus on our own sense of well-being.
The amount and frequency of time you will be able to take is different for each person. However I recommend for the month of December take 1 hour a week minimum to just be. If you’re struggling to know what I mean by this, consider doing some of the below.
Spend one blissful hour, no work, no phones, and no distractions.
You might want to sped some Tim out in nature, lying in the sun, being by the water or drifting away for an hour. For others it might be seated meditation, a long walk outside, enjoying a cup of coffee, people watching or getting pampered at a day spa.
The key is: the less you do the better.
Receive support around grief
Ensuring you have a wealth of support if you are bereaved during the Christmas period is particularly important, you need to surround yourself with those who will allow you to express and discuss your grief in helpful ways. Rather than feeling as though you need to carry the burden alone, supportive relationships are crucial at this time of year. You manlike to create a ritual or do something special to remember your loved one. This might look like listening to your loved ones favourite song, lighting a candle and saying some special words, journaling a memory about them or simply allowing yourself to remember them. Whatever the ritual, it’s important to honour and remember your loved one in a way that feels right for you.
Know you are not what you eat over Christmas
When it comes to food at Christmas I advocate enjoying it and ditching the stress. Know that weight gain and disease are not caused by one or two days of excessive eating. It is all the lifestyle choices you make throughout the year are what impact you. Stressing about what you eat and breaking out of your normal eating pattern will likely cause you more stress than needed. If you know you’re going to indulge or eat more than usual on Christmas day then use the extra energy from the carbs in a workout the next day. Take walks and keep active, remember to fill your plate with one large serving – this way you can see everything you’re eating (the brain registers this) and don’t go back for seconds. Food is meant to be a delight to be shared, where possible be mindful and focus on delighting in food and loved ones this Christmas.
Organise an appointment with your therapist
Ensuring you have made an appointment with your therapist during the festive season means you can receive the support you need to prepare in advance for any stressors or triggers that may arise. Leave yourself enough time to schedule in some sessions before your therapist takes leave so you can feel as though you’re prepared for what lays ahead. Christmas is an especially important time to take a moment for yourself and focus on your wellbeing so that you can also give to others!
Noted, these are only a few of the experiences you may have over Christmas, other stressors are often present, If you have any other additional ways you have found useful during this time I would love to hear your experiences. This year may you experience less stress and more happiness during this holiday season, may this guide help you to find more peace and joy in Christmas this year.
Natajsa is a Clinical Psychotherapist with a private practice is based in Ashgrove, Brisbane. She provides psychotherapy and counselling to individuals and couples and facilitates fortnightly group therapy focused on interpersonal process. Natajsa believe's that the relationship we have with ourselves and others is the essential ingredient to our emotional health, happiness and wellbeing.
As a Gestalt therapist she is interested in the topics of connection, belonging and the importance of human relationships. Her focus is on helping people develop self-awareness and understanding of their challenges, so they can create long-term, sustainable change that leads to more fulfilling and meaningful lives. Natajsa has been featured as an expert both locally and internationally and has contributed to a number of print and online media outlets including Women's Health and Fitness Magazine, Cosmopolitan Magazine, The Courier Mail & ABC Online.You can find her:
www.natajsawagner.com
www.facebook.com/NatajsaWagnerPsychotherapy